We go our separate ways, and as I go to my room, I grab my clothes, cut, and everything I need for my shower, then head into one of the main bathrooms. I turn on the shower, letting the water heat up just a little as I strip down to nothing and adjust my things where I need them. I stand under the cool water, letting it run down my sweaty body, chilling my skin. Once I’m done, I step out, dry off, and finish getting ready so I can start this fuckin' day. I used to look forward to days and time just so I could see my girl, but not now. I don’t feel that way about anything anymore.
I sit at the bar stirring around my Jack and Coke with the little straw. That shit with Romeo got way too fuckin' deep. It has my head all clouded, now thoughts of her fill my brain and all I want to do is get fucked up to make it stop.
Someone taps me on the shoulder, thank fuck for the distraction. I turn my head to the left to see Bear.
Hanger has called Church, he signs to me.
I give him a nod, pick up the glass, and down the last of my Jack and Coke. I walk down the hall coming to the Chapel room.
Now that Bear, Hanger, and Romeo all know how to sign, communicating is getting easier. I’m glad that they wanted to learn for me. Before Hanger brought Crazy Girl here, it was all writing, no one, not even I, knew how to sign. I think her paying attention and caring enough to teach me made me form a little crush on her. That is, until I met Ever. Then my heart was gone from the moment I laid eyes on her. They may look exactly the same, but when you’re around them enough, you know the difference, and Ever was the prettiest girl I had ever seen in my entire life. What Crazy Girl did for me though, that made us form a bond, a special one at that, and I’d do anything for her. We had a rough go there for awhile, but I think we have made it through.
Before I had met Ever, I liked to be alone. I didn’t fuck around with the whores, and I pretty much stuck to myself. A lot of it had to do with not knowing how to communicate and feeling alone in this world. I never met another hearing impaired person until the Porter sisters came along. Together they brought me out of my shell and had my confidence strong.
Now, since Ever's gone, I’ve lost all the good parts of me. I'm on a road to my own demise. I know it, everyone around me knows it, so it's time to just sit back and wait for the destruction to happen.
When she first left, most days I just wanted be left alone to wallow in my depression.
All that changed when drugs came into the picture, then I started just not giving a fuck about anything.
I started partying hard, riding harder, fighting to get the aggression out, and fucking to try and get a goddamn release from it all. I know my brothers are trying to be there for me, just like their ol' ladies, but they don’t know what I’m going through. None of them do, except Romeo.
Well, his situation might be a little worse than mine, ya know, with the whole being held hostage, his chick being a rat, and her getting shot in the head.
Hmm...I might like it if Ever came back and held me hostage, not the other shit though.
Anyway, back to what I was saying before I got distracted by my crazy thoughts.
What were we talking about?
Oh yeah, my support team I have — Hunter getting tattoos with me and Romeo going to the gym.
I’ll tell you, the gym and the tattoos may not keep her off my mind, but I’m one muscled and tatted up motherfucker now. The pain of the needle digging into my skin or the burn of my muscles does help for a little while, but not for long. Ever is never too far from my mind, as you can tell.
“I've called church today because we need to talk about a few things,” Hanger speaks while signing. “Demon, you’ve been treasurer for a while, run the numbers by us.”
I keep watch on Hanger so he can relay everything, knowing Demon can't sign.
Well, I’ve went back to when Ripper was treasurer and it looks like you started having a downfall when the shit with the Italians started. I’m sure you all know that, but since we took those fuckers out, our numbers are back to normal. The cash flow has picked back up double time and product is selling twice as fast as it was. You might want to look into putting the money through different businesses, get an accountant we can trust and have them launder the money, make it look legit, plus you would make a profit and so would the different businesses.
“Yeah, we might have to look into that. Let's take a vote.” I give Hanger a nod, letting him know I agree with doing that. I watch around the table to see my brothers nodding with lips moving.
“Alright then. Hacker, you wanted to talk about starting up a titty club, right?”
“Yeah, I’ve been looking at buildings and I might have found one. I could have it up and running in a couple of months.”