Romeo and I have been at it for a while now, hitting and kicking the punching bag, moving on to work our arms on the speed bag and run five miles on the treadmill. After our weightlifting, we stand on the mat, trying to release all the aggression we have built up by sparring with one another and working ground game for fights we have coming up. The shit kicker of it all is we do this every goddamn morning to take our minds off of the women that fucked us over, the women that broke our goddamn hearts and basically ripping us to shreds, leaving nothing left.
For Romeo it was that cunt Giovanna Gremaldi. She made him fall in love with her, only to be a backstabbing bitch. She gave her family all the information she was getting from Romeo and they held him hostage until Hanger and Crazy Girl went and got his ass back. Crazy Girl had to make the quick decision of saving Hanger and killed the girl. We all knew it wasn’t really Romeo’s fault, but he got put back on bitch duty anyway. I guess it’s better than Hanger having to kill his ass for the betrayal. I’ll tell ya, love is a motherfucker!
For me, it’s Crazy Girl’s identical twin sister, Ever. She was the light to my darkness, the stars in my night sky. She was my goddamn everything. We were together for two years before she decided to chase her dream and leave me. She was my dream! I always knew she was too good for me and that I would only bring her down, but I tried, God knows I tried to be the man to give her everything. I fell short though, just like I always do; with her, with my parents. The only shit I ever got right was becoming a part of the Satan’s Sinners. They’ve always been there for me and they always will be. They’re my family, my brothers, the only ones I need.
After putting each other on our asses a couple of times, we sit and take a breather. When we first started working out together, Romeo decided it would be best for him to learn how to sign, so he went to Crazy Girl and she taught him how. One more person to communicate with and I am grateful for it. Always writing shit on paper gets old. He turns towards me where we’re sitting on the mat, both with bottles of water sitting next to us. You did pretty well today, but you seem distracted. What's up, brother?
Yeah, I guess I am. I just keep thinking about her.
You think you’ll ever be with anyone again? he asks, looking curious as to what my answer would be.
Not like her, she was it for me. When I was with her, man, I felt like I could do fuckin' anything. She encouraged me, gave me strength, and empowered me.
What about now? he questions, because everyone knows that I've changed. I'm not the sweet, quiet guy now. I know he is trying to get inside my head so I'll let him.
Now, I’m left as nothing. I drink until I can't drink anymore and pass out. I do all the drugs I can get my hands on, whether it be an upper or a downer, I don’t give a fuck. I stick my dick in whatever is available, usually a little blonde whore running around here with her tits popping out and her ass on display. You know all of the shit I've been up to since Ever left, but do you know why I do all this?
I wait for his answer and when I get a shrug of his shoulder and a shake of his head saying no, I continue.
Because she left me. She left me a broken, fucked up mess. I’ve been trying for the last year, for the last three hundred sixty five days, for the last eight thousand seven hundred and sixty-two hours to get her out of my goddamn head.
He looks at me, baffled. You keep track of how long she has been gone?
A smirk forms on my face, Yeah I do brother. And with everything I fuckin' do, do you think it works to keep her out of my fuckin' head?
Another shrug of the shoulder, so I answer. Absolutely not! Sighing, I go on to tell him, When I pass out drunk or on pills, I dream about her. When I'm so high I can't sit still, I pick up a pencil and paper, only to draw her face. When I'm deep inside a little whore around the club I close my eyes and she’s all I see behind my lids.
I keep eye contact for this last part so Romeo can see just how serious I am. Through it all, it's always her, it always has been, and it always will be. There's no fuckin' doubt about it. She is the air I breathe, the stars leading me home, and she owns every goddamn part of me.
I don't want to talk about it anymore so I switch it up on him and ask, What about you? Will you ever give it another try?
That was some heavy shit, man. I thought I had been in love before, but it was never like that. It would be nice to have a love that strong because the whores get old, ya know? My answer though is fuck no, I will never try again. Every time I have, it fucked me in the end.
I know! Shit's getting too deep, let’s get outta here. I’m done for the day. Some might think with a name like Romeo that he is the one to break hearts. He isn't though, he wears his heart on his sleeve and always gets fucked in the end. I do hope one day he will find a girl that will truly love him. In the end, we all want what Hanger found in Crazy Girl and Bear with Jacey. What I thought I had with Ever.