“I’ve missed you so much,” I whisper into her hair as I squeeze her tight. Her familiar flowery scent has an immediate calming effect on me.
“I’ve missed you too, Carter. I’m so glad you’re home.” Pulling back, I cup her pretty face in my hands before placing my lips on hers. I’ve being dying to do this from the moment I left her at the airport three days ago.
Of course I don’t kiss her like I want to. I don’t give a shit that we’re in a public place, but the boys are watching us. I can’t wait to get her alone. The kids are staying with our parents tonight, but I needed to see them first. That’s why Indi brought them with her to the airport.
When I finally let my wife go, I pull the top back on the pram so I can see my baby girl. She’s sound asleep, but I need to hold her. Removing the blanket that covers her, I gently lift her into my arms, careful not to wake her. She looks so sweet all dressed in pink. I feel my lips curve into a smile as I hug her to my chest and look down at her angelic face. It’s only been three days, but I swear she’s grown.
Now that Carter’s home, I feel whole again. While he was away, I missed him like you wouldn’t believe. Things just don’t seem the same when he’s not around. It’s like a piece of me is missing.
After we drop the kids at our parents’, we head back home. It’s going to feel weird not having them with us tonight, but I’m looking forward to some alone time with my husband. I’m also apprehensive. I know we’re going to have our talk, and I’m a little concerned to hear what he has to say.
“Do you mind if we head to the Surfhouse first?” he asks, reaching across the seat and grabbing hold of my hand. “I made an early reservation for 5:30 pm. The sooner we eat, the sooner I can get you home,” he adds with a wink. I love that he thought ahead and made reservations at our restaurant. It will always be our special place, since it was where we got married.
“It hasn’t been six weeks yet,” I remind him.
“I know, it’s been 5 weeks and 4 days, but I called the doctor from the hotel this morning, and he said as long as we don’t overdo it, you’ll be fine.” I’m shocked that he called the doctor, but I’m even more surprised he knows how many days it’s been.
“You’ve been counting? … But the calendar … ”
“I’ve been keeping track on my phone,” he says with a smirk. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me feel.
Carter takes my hand and laces our fingers together when we exit the car at the restaurant. “We’re still going to have that talk tonight, aren’t we?” I ask once the waiter seats us at the table. The mood changes as soon as the words are out of my mouth. As much as I’m dreading this, whatever it is, we need to get it out in the open.
Carter exhales before replying. “Let’s eat first. We can talk later,” is all he says, picking up the menu. Why is he stalling? What is he keeping from me?
By the time our food arrives, I’ve lost my appetite. Why did she have to bring this up now? I’ve been dreading this damn talk all day, well for the past five weeks actually. I need to get it off my chest though so we can work past it. I’m worried how she’s going to take the news. I’m pretty sure, not well.
On the drive home, she brings it up again. Fuck. It’s now or never, I guess. I was kind of hoping to make love to her first. That’s pretty shitty I know, but it’s been over five fucking weeks since I’ve had her. She may not want to come near me after she hears what I have to say.
When we pull up outside the apartment, she doesn’t budge. “Can we go upstairs and talk?”
“No,” she replies, folding her arms across her chest. “I’m not leaving this car until you tell me what the hell is going on. I’ve waited long enough.” Here we go with the attitude. As if I’m not already turned on enough. Her sass gets me every time. I exhale when I realise she’s not going to give in. Fuck she’s stubborn.
“Fine.” I pause while I try to think of the right words. Truthfully, there aren’t any. I’ve thought about this a lot over the past five weeks. A-fucking-lot. I guess I need to just tell it like it is. “When Eve was in the hospital I had a vasectomy.” There, I said it. Christ I’m a gutless prick. I can’t even bring myself to look at her.
I continue to stare straight ahead, waiting for her reply, or for her to backhand me … anything. All I get is silence. Silence isn’t good. Not when it comes to Indiana. I want her to let me have it. I deserve it. I can’t live with the guilt anymore.