“Are you okay, babe?” I ask, reaching over the centre console to grasp her hand. We’re in the Monaro. We don’t get to drive this much now with the kids. I’d never sell it though. I love this fucking car.
“I’m fine,” she replies, turning her face towards me and forcing out a smile. I know she’s not fine, but I don’t call her out on it. Instead, I tighten my grip on her hand. I hate how what I’ve done is coming between us. I need to man up and tell her, but not now. It will have to wait until I get back. The sooner I come clean, the sooner we can move past it and get back to where we were. I fucking miss her.
We only have one more week to go before the six weeks is up. I need to get this shit sorted so I can be with my wife again. I fucking crave her. I always will.
We finally reach the airport and I pull the car into the drop-off bay, switching off the ignition. I want to spend a few more minutes with my girl. My plane doesn’t leave for another hour. I’m flying out from Newcastle Airport, at Williamtown. It didn’t make sense to drive all the way down to Sydney when we have an airport right here. Jax is still living in Sydney, so he flew out earlier today.
After removing my seatbelt, I turn to face Indi. Christ she’s beautiful. She still takes my breath away after all this time. “I’m gonna miss you,” I say, reaching out to stroke my hand down the side of her face. My stomach drops when I see tears well in her stunning green eyes.
“Are you going to miss me?” she asks, tilting her face down. The sadness and uncertainty I hear in her voice breaks my heart. When I see a tear fall from her eye and land on her jeans, a lump rises to my throat. I fucking hate myself for upsetting her. This whole mess is my fault.
“Hey,” I say, placing my hand under her chin and raising her head. “Of course I’m going to miss you. I love you, Indiana.” When I see another tear fall, I pull her into my arms.
“What’s happening to us, Carter?” she cries into my chest.
Nothing. Nothing’s happening to us. I did something stupid, but it doesn’t change how I feel about her. My love for her will never die. Can’t she see that? I’m just scared. I’m scared to tell her the truth, because I’m not sure how she’s going to take it. I don’t want to disappoint her. I’d fucking hate it if she thought less of me because of what I’ve done.
“Why would you ask that?” Even though I already know the answer. I hold her close as I await her reply.
“Something’s going on between us. You’re pulling away from me. Please talk to me. I don’t want to lose you.”
Fuck. This is worse than I thought.
Pulling back, I cup her pretty face in my hands. “You’re never going to lose me, Indi. Fucking never. Please don’t ever think that.”
“Well talk to me. Tell me what’s going on, and don’t you dare say nothing.” I can’t hold back the smile when she narrows her eyes at me. I’ll never tire of her spunk.
Everything in me wants to confess right now, but it’s not the time. I can’t drop a bombshell on her like this, then walk away and get on a plane.
“Can we talk when I get back? I don’t want to do this now. Not when I’m about to leave you for three days.”
“But—” I cut her off by placing my finger over her lips.
“Please. Now’s not the time for this. See if our parents will take the kids for the night when I get back. We can go out. Just like old times. Just the two of us. We need some alone time, Indi.”
“I’d like that,” she says, a small smile playing on her lips.
“I’d like that too. As much as I love our kids, I miss you. I miss what we had before we became parents.” What I miss more than anything, is our marathon sex sessions. Now all we seem to manage is a quickie when the kids aren’t around, or when they’re asleep. If I’m not sneaking into her work during the day between clients, she’s sneaking into mine. Most days we spend our lunch breaks upstairs in the apartment, screwing each other’s brains out.
“Me too,” she says as her hand rises and skims over my hair. I pull her towards me, covering her mouth with mine. It’s been weeks since I’ve kissed her like this. Sure I still kiss her, but it’s more like a lingering peck, nothing hot and heavy. It’s the guilt, I’m consumed by it.
She moans into my mouth as her hands clench in my shirt and she pulls me closer. I feel my cock going hard. Shit. What I wouldn’t give to be buried inside her heavenly pussy right now. I’m craving her. It’s all I’ve been thinking about for weeks.